”What Can I Do To Help?”

If you say this to a mama and she looks at you like it’s a trick question, don’t give up. Sometimes asking for what we need is tricky, you know? Especially when we love, respect, and can’t imagine you scraping lasagna off our plates and taking out our trash! No fear, though, here are some ideas we will love!

1. Run A Couple of Errands. Text me the day before you’re scheduled to drop off a meal and ask if you can pick anything up on your way: toilet paper, bleach-free pads, laundry soap, etc.
2. If I Say No: Text me again a few hours before you stop by. I may have remembered something!
3. Give Me An Afternoon. “Come over about 2 in the afternoon. Hold the baby while I have a hot shower, put me to bed with the baby and then fold all the piles of laundry that have been dumped on the couch, beds or in the room corners. If there’s no laundry to fold yet, do some.” (Gloria Lemay¹)
4. Something Else I Really Knead Go in with a friend and pay for a massage therapist to come to the house. Let me pick the date so I can make sure hubby is available to take the kids on a walk. Peace, quiet, and relaxation! (Thanks for this idea, Anna Miller!)
5. Spruce Up My Kitchen. Put a load of dishes in the dishwasher and wipe down my countertops.
6. Make Me a Mood Boosting Air Spritzer. Buy a simple 8 ounce spray bottle and fill it with 2 tablespoons witch hazel and 3/4 cup filtered water.  Add 36 to 48 drops of lavender, rose otto, violet leaf, lemon balm, ylang ylang, clary sage or sandalwood. Ask me if I’d like you to spritz my pillow. Oh, and make up a batch for yourself, too. Let’s be happy together!
7. Don’t Assume that because I am on my second (or third or fourth!) baby that I don’t need help because I “know what I’m is doing.” I need more help! (thanks Renee Kohley!)
8. Speaking Of My Older Kids . . . Please take them to the park to blow bubbles or kick the soccer ball around. Please do not feed them junk – they turn in to gremlins, I promise! Here are some healthy snack ideas they’ll love!
9. Take Kitty For a Walk. Or if you really love me clean out Fido’s litterbox! (What, you DIDN’T name your dog after a cat and vice versa?!?!?)
   
10. Put A Sign On My Door . . . that says “Dear Friends and Family, Mom and baby need extra rest right now. Please come back in seven days, but phone first. All donations of casserole dinners would be most welcome. Thank you for caring about this family.” Gloria Lemay ²)
11. Express Your Inner Type A. If you’re the organizing type, help me harness “Is there anything I can do to help?” into real-life results. Create a list of chores to put on the fridge so that friends know what is needed. (thanks for this idea, Katy Scott!)
12. Invite Me To The Circle. Thinking about birth – mine, yours, or the totally different one down the street – is a great way to help me process my experience. Long conversations can be tiring, but I wouldn’t mind if you dropped by your copy of The Birth Next Door for me to read while I’m nursing in the wee hours.
13. Nourish the Nourisher. Set up a Care Calendar and email all my friends/family about it. If my family is on a restricted diet  – gluten, dairy, sugar, whatever – make sure that vital info gets listed. When you sign up make sure to bring me a nourishing meal like egg drop soup and a huge salad with homemade dressing. Here are 21 healthy ideas I’ll love you for!
14. Close The Gap. Yeah, there are 3 states between us and you’re totally off the hook, but how awesome would it be if you made the miles vanish into thin air with a visit from a cleaning service or box of Larabars drop-shipped from Amazon?
15. Send Me This Article.
16. Stop By After All The Hullabaloo Has Died Down. The first two weeks everyone is eager to help, but the adjustment period takes much longer.
17. Leave Immediately. I love you, I REALLY do, but welcoming visitors can be very tiring. So after you’ve done one of these amazing things for me, quietly slip out the door. Did I mention that I love you?
18. Make “Thank You” Taboo. Gifts are not necessary, but if you bring one make sure that it comes with a card that says “Don’t you dare write me a thank you note!“

What did you find most helpful after having baby? What do you wish someone had done for you?

Photo creditSimilar Posts:

• Teething Talk With Katiepotamus
• Baby Basics For the Slightly Crunchy, Eco-Conscious Mommy

Have you ever wondered which teething remedies work best and which ones are just quackery? I have, but honestly there have been times where I would have tried anything, ANYTHING . . . even a placebo effect would have been welcome! Fortunately I’ve made some great finds along the way, which I’m sharing with you today.

Teething Necklaces

Skeptical? Many people are, but these are the real deal. Teething necklaces made from amber resin contain succinic acid, a natural painkiller that is released when warm skin touches the beads.

When you’re shopping around keep in mind that raw, unpolished amber that is light in color contains the most succinic acid. Also, necklaces are not “supposed” to be worn at night, but obviously that’s when babies are usually most uncomfortable when teething. Most moms DO leave them on all the time (except bathtime) and just make sure that the necklace fits snugly so that it’s not likely to get caught on anything. It would be irresponsible for me to tell you what to do, but I’m sure you know what’s best for your little one.

Note: Make sure you buy from a reputable source, such as Simple Baby or Inspired By Finn.

Chiropractic Adjustments

This helps by reducing cortisol levels and increasing white blood cell counts, which reduces stress and promotes healing for inflamed gums.

Gum-omile Oil

This is an almond-based blend made by Herbs for Kids. It contains clove oil and willow bark extract, which are natural analgesics, and chamomile extract to help calm cranky babies. This stuff works WAAAAY better than the Hylands ever did for us and my only regret is that we didn’t discover it sooner (Katie had most of her teeth). Really helped with the molars, though!

Chewelry

Micah’s chowing down on some baby bling made by Little Miss Headbands, a super cute little shop with gnaw-worthy necklaces and other chewelry. Love love LOVE this idea!! (These looked really good,too)

Celery and Carrots

Celery is said to have an analgesic effect and both can be frozen to boost their soothing powers. Note: Many moms use this on babies that don’t have any teeth visible because they think it’s unlikely the baby will be able to bite off any pieces and possibly choke. Others use them with babies that have teeth and supervise carefully. Please exercise caution.

Munchkin Fresh Food Feeder

We put ice in ours and let our kids slurp happily at the dinner table, in the car . . . just about anywhere, really! I guess it really is the little things. You can check them out here.

Sophie

We <3 Sophie the Giraffe around here. Made with all-natural rubber and delightfully squeaky, Sophie is very patient when Micah knaws on her nose . . . and her legs. And the fact that he squeezes her like a tube of toothpaste  hasn’t been a problem so far, either.

Did I miss something? Tell me your favorite teething remedy below!

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• 18 Ways To Help A New Mom
• Baby Basics For the Slightly Crunchy, Eco-Conscious Mommy

I can’t knit little hats. Or sew my own ring sling. I wish I could, but . . .

YOU KNOW WHAT??? I can makes lists of great stuff other people make!

With your help, of course. Would you please tell me what YOU found essential in the early days of mothering? Even though this is my second baby I am still mystified by some of this stuff. Case in point: I didn’t have a good rocking chair with Katie, so I held her and nursed/paced the floor while she fell asleep. Until she was sixteen months old. This time around I’ve decided to save myself the chiropractic bills and just buy a rocking chair. But which one? I need your help! Here’s what I have so far. Let me know what you’d add/change/omit!

#1: Lambskin Rug

I don’t think Katie has ever napped anywhere but at home and in the car. It’s not too difficult to arrange my schedule around one child’s nap. But two? With different schedules???

Oy.

For the first year I’d basically be stuck at home from about 10am-4pm everyday. No thank you.

My solution? Get Babypotamus to associate sleep with something comforting and portable.

A lambskin woolie is like a lovie only better. By nursing/sleeping on it with Babypotamus it will have my scent.

Lambskins were originally used to reduce discomfort for long-term hospital patients. I think its cushioning prevented bedsores.

Plus, “Wool is nature’s insulation keeping baby warm and cozy in cold weather. In hot weather wool absorbs moisture which is then released into the air, leaving baby drier and more comfortable.” – Bebeco

Mommy’s scent + Snuggly Factor + Climate Control= Babypotamus Takes Naps Away From House (I hope)

Just FYI, the Bowron I linked to earlier is probably the favorite brand in the U.S.. I’ve done a little research, though, and the Kaiser Mimosa Lambskin looks like a good one, too. It is processed without any chemicals at all. Has anyone tried either of these? I’d love your feedback!

#2: Cloth Diapers

Pass the prefolds, please! If there’s anything I’ve learned in my cloth diapering days it’s that what worked for Grandma will work for me (with a few modifications, of course). Fancy microfleece /multi-layer/ all-in-one varieties need not apply.

Natural fabrics beat synthetic ones when it comes to breathability and freshness (synthetic fabrics hold stink . . . blech!)

Back when our parents were slapping prefolds on our parents bottoms everything was cotton. Now there’s hemp. Cha-ching! Katie has some hemp liners for her nighttime panties . . . super absorbent and non-stinky! Love them ; – )

I’ll leave the diaper pins to nostalgia, though. Snappi’s are wonderful.

I’m also looking forward to giving wool covers a try. The lanolin from the wool makes them naturally water resistant. Plus, they’re breathable,  naturally antimicrobial, and cute!

If Babypotamus doesn’t do well with wool I’ll go back to Thirsties. They’re synthetic and not extremely eco-friendly, but they really work!

Rocking Chair or Glider

I am “The Princess and the Pea” of rocking chairs. My first chair, a Craigslist regret, was generously picked up and delivered to my house by Gigi. When she tried it she loved it! When I sat down in it all I noticed was the rough bumping motion it made mid-glide while going “CLICK!”

Every time I tried to settle Katie to sleep in that blasted thing it went like this: “HUMP . . . CLICK . . . . You’re never going to get this baby to sleep . . . BUMP  . . . CLICK . . . I’ll help you count the seconds as they stretch into eternity . . . HUMP CLICK . . . I can make this noise forever lady and this baby can stay awake just as long.”

So, with that said, I want a GOOD one this time. Unfortunately, the big comfy gliders are expensive, and I’m afraid to invest too much in a rocking chair that Babypotamus may not like. Suggestions for finding one that is affordable? Any “must have” features? I know ya’ll are going to help me figure this out!

Ring Sling

The first time around I thought ring-slings were old generation, so I opted for the hip looking Hotslings and super-functional Moby Wrap.

Then, while watching another mom discreetly cover her nursling with the tail of a ring sling I had a revelation:

I’ve got to get one of those!

Oh, to be able to nurse discreetly while chasing my toddler around in public. Sounds a lot more fun than suffering through the hungry cries of a precious baby that has to be put on hold too often.

With all the brands and variations available, though, I’m not sure what to look for. Should I get one with a padded shoulder? Who has the best prices? Better yet, who is finished with theirs and wants to sell it to me???

What I Already Have

One essential didn’t make the list because I already have it. How anyone swaddles a baby without a Miracle Blanket mystifies me.  I am a swaddling moron. Oh well, as long as it gets done and baby is happy I’m okay with that.

Unfortunately, the one I have is pink. If Babypotamus turns out to be a boy I’ll have to get another one or be forced to write another post about why that won’t actually affect his sexuality, either. Just kidding, even I think dressing little boys in pink is weird. SEE?? I do have limits!

Another item we have is the Arms Reach Co-Sleeper. We didn’t use it much with Katie, but I think we will more this time since we want to keep Katie in bed with us while setting aside a safe place for baby.

A couple of things that did not make the list are a double stroller and baby swing. Do I need these? If so, what should I buy?

That’s my list so far. What would you add/change/omit???