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Dear Daddypotamus

Affiliate Disclosure | in Everything Else | by | with 19 Comments

When Googling “Foreign Object Nasal Obstruction” Didn’t Work . . .

You were the first person I called. And that night dinner was charred beyond recognition? Oh yes, I remember how you suddenly developed a craving for scrambled eggs . . . for the third night in a row.

Heck, I’ve puked on your feet. 

So on your birthday, Daddypotamus, I just want to say this:


None of us have a say about being born into the world, but we all choose who to be once we’re here. And as I’ve told you my funny, intelligent, tenderhearted, shoot ’em up movie loving husband – you are extraordinary. You don’t think so, but you’re wrong.

I’ve been reading this book lately, and it reminded me of  countless conversations we’ve had. Who we want to be . . . who we really are . . . and the gray areas in between.

[T]he world has a very muddled perception of “self.” They think and tell us to think that we are all little separate entities who might need to go off somewhere and get to know “ourselves” . . . . Marriages break up because people don’t know who they are anymore. They need to find themselves.

But the Christian view of self is very different, and you need to make sure that is the one you have. We are like characters in a story. Our essential self is not back in the intro, waiting to be rediscovered.

Who you are is where you are. When you are married, your essential self is married. As the story grows, so does your character. Your children change you into a different person.

If you suddenly panic because it all happened so fast and now you don’t recognize yourself, what you need is not time alone. What you need is your people.

Those [individuals] who try to find themselves by stripping away the “others” will find that they are a very broken little thing . . . [they] may say, “I used to be so energetic, but all these people take, take, take from me and now I have no time to just be me!”

But the Christian . . . needs to see, “I used to be so boring! Now my character has some depth, some people to love, some hardships to bear. Now I have some material to work with.”

Loving The Little Years

So, uh, I am not implying you are having some kind of identity crisis. I just like the idea that the people we love shape who we are. So on your birthday, my love, I would like to show you yourself . . .

In The Confidence of Your Daughters Eyes

Bulging Bellies

And First Meetings

In The Trust Of Your Son Nestled Against Your Chest

And Butterblunged Moments

Girly Giggles

And Smirks (Which He Definitely Gets From You)

And Of Course Tears, Because This Is Real Life After All

And Sighs, Too

But There Are Zerberts!

And Beet Eating Contests

And Bohemian Dances Under The Sky

And Everything in Between

And you, my love, are in the thick of it. Growing, maturing, loving, and taking the path of humility. There is so much more to who you are than our little family, but it’s not a bad start, eh? We are your people. And we like you. And we even love you. And actually, we think you rock.

Happy Birthday!!!

Note: This is a very encouraging book! However, I don’t agree with the author’s position on spanking.

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19 Responses to Dear Daddypotamus

  1. Pavil, the Uber Noob says:

    This is true wealth.

    Ciao, Pavil

  2. Samuel Travis Cobb via FB says:

    Very nice post. That guy is pretty cool! Hey! I know that guy!!! He *is* pretty cool!

  3. Daniel Dessinger says:

    I love it! You three are my PEOPLE! It’s very true that the people around us help shape who we are. I am so very grateful for the people in my family, close friends, and web friends.

    There’s much yet to do, but I know where I belong.

  4. Caroline says:

    Pavil said it before I could! Thank you for letting us glimpse into the love you and your people share. It uplifts and encourages!

  5. Heather says:

    So sweet! Love this!

  6. dianthe says:

    have i mentioned that y’all are my most favorite couple ever? well done Heather! and happy birthday Daniel!!

    • Daniel says:

      So sweet, Dianthe. Thanks!

    • Heather says:

      Aww, thanks Dianthe! In the interest of full disclosure we have had our share of bumps, bruises, and trips to the marriage counselor. :)

      • dianthe says:

        i know!! and that’s one of the reasons i love you guys so much! nothing irritates me more than couples who publicly sing each others praises when we all know that it’s not sunshine and rainbows 100% of the time – not that i expect people to air their dirty laundry, but at least acknowledge that it gets hard sometimes! i love my husband to death and we have a blast together, but there are days when he makes my head explode – and i KNOW i’m no picnic! i just love that you guys are so real – and that you share it with all of us!

  7. says:

    I’m not Christian, but I really like that quote and the image it promotes! Very cool.

    • Heather says:

      Glad you liked it. Personally, I think the book is well worth the read even if you don’t 100% agree with her perspective. That’s the boat I’m in but I’ve gained so much insight!

  8. Misty aka Elvisgirl says:

    Love that other people call them zerberts, too (The Cosby Show was great to grow up with)! Thanks for sharing your sweet birthday message with us all.

  9. Jessica says:

    I didn’t realize Daddypotamus and I shared a birthday, happy birthday to him (a day late lol)!

    Love that quoted passage, I need to check out that book!

  10. rawkinmom says:

    great present to your hubby!!! Way better than Hallmark!!!

  11. Jesse M says:

    I must say, this post brought tears to my eyes. It is beautiful, and such a moving way to show your love and appreciation. You make such an amazing point – my family is my life, and though sometimes I could scream after a day that hasn’t gone well with them. I would never choose anyone over them and wouldn’t want anyone else by my side everyday….

    • Heather says:

      I know exactly what you mean, Jesse! Even on the toughest days I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. Well, maybe a beach would be okay, but I’d want them there, too :)

  12. Jesse M says:

    A beach would definetly be okay, maybe a couple hours alone with a good book then they can join :) :)

  13. Parenting By Design says:

    I love!!!! this Birthday tribute to your husband! :) An amazing visual and emotional walk through the memories that have built your home and shaped your life. I want a birthday message such as that! Here’s to CELEBRATING with you, your children and your husband in the joy of a birthday and the LOVE of a family built in the shadow of God’s grace.

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