Because it is absolutely NOT an option for me to have a blogspot account, I have been struggling for months to come up with an original url for my blog. Blogspots and WordPress hosted blogs cannot be tinkered with much, and if I am going to have a blog my husband needs to tinker with it. Cue the parenting identity crisis.
I have noticed that a lot of mom’s name their blogs in some fashion after their children, so I know that my first impulse, “Katie’s Mom,” was in good company. Of course, the url is taken. It seems a little shortsighted anyway. I don’t want to have to switch url’s every time God blesses us with another child. Hence the very real parenting identity crisis.
I know who I am. I am Daniel’s wife and Katie’s mom. And I am a child of God. That last part is still sinking in.
I know who I am, but I don’t know what it means. What does it mean to be a mother? So far on this journey the one thing that seems clear to me is that I must change. I don’t want to model perfectionist tendencies for my daughter. What mother wants her daughter measuring herself against an unattainable ideal? Not me.
It took having a child to realize that my Father doesn’t want me doing this to myself, either. And so it goes with so many other things in my life. To know that I am not defined by my ability to keep a clean house or make a perfect meal is good. Maybe as I figure out a few more things that I am not, the picture of who I am becoming will be more clear. Until then, I am sticking to this temporary home.