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Thoughts on a 9/11 Baby

on September 11 | in Pregnancy | by | with 24 Comments

After absolutely no warm up anything, I started feeling some early labor stuff last night. It’s been a tough road since then. My body is urging me forward and my emotions are fighting me back.

It’s September 11th.

Would anyone wish this birthday for their child? Katie was born just a few days before Christmas and I worried her birthday would be swallowed up in the busyness of the holiday. But at least it is a happy time for everyone. How will my child feel if he/she is born on a national day of mourning? It’s not like Memorial Day or Veterans Day, which seem connected to a distant memory. The wound of what happened on September 11th still feels fresh to me.

My husband says he would love for the baby to be born on this day. He loves the idea of redeeming a sad day and bringing joy back into it. I’m on the fence.

Fairy Tales Aren’t Fairy Tales Without Loss

The tricky thing about redemption is that before it can be redeemed it first has to be marred. Call me an idealist, but sometimes I wish we didn’t have to experience the sorrow of loss in order to know the joy of restoration. I wish the fairy tale could go off without a hitch. But it never does. At least not in my life.

There have been some fairytale endings, but the middle of those stories tend to be pretty darn ugly. I don’t know how this story ends. Maybe things will slow down and we’ll have the baby tomorrow. Maybe he/she will be born today and somehow miraculously I will feel differently about it looking back. Only time will tell . . .

Note from Daddypotamus:

It’s not very encouraging to tell a VERY pregnant lady how her fears or concerns are ridiculous or not a big deal. I’d appreciate it if we could all avoid responding to this with any comments about how she shouldn’t think that way. Thanks.

 

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24 Responses to Thoughts on a 9/11 Baby

  1. Jolee Burger says:

    Hugs to you, peace to you and your family, and prayers for everyone today. Affirmations helped me… My baby knows the best possible time to come. My baby hears my thoughts, concerns and feels my emotions…. etc. Peace.

  2. Russell Hemati says:

    Hang in there, Mommypotamus. God knows the right time for your baby to be born. Christi and I are so excited for you all – trust in God’s provision as you always have.

    Remember – the future is always greater than the past!

  3. Lesley says:

    AMEN Daddypotamus!! And Heather…I totally understand the whole “wanting labor, but not wanting it TODAY!” I was scared to death of having Lexi on May 5th..cinco de mayo. I KNOW it has significant meaning for some…but most Americans just look at it as “drinking holiday!” I didnt want my baby born on a Mexican drinking holiday! ( and no flames here…she is part Hispanic so I CAN say that!) And while Cinco de Mayo and 9/11 are worlds apart….jut saying its ok to feel to feel however you want because it IS a hard day. Praying the Lord picks the perfect day for your baby to be born…whatever tha may be!! ( even Cinco de Mayo–HA!!)

  4. Praying for peace for you today. No matter what the outcome that you would be able to enjoy and give in to this process with a peace that passes all understanding. God knows what is best yet He knows the desires of your heart!

  5. Esther says:

    Heather, this has been on my mind and heart ever since we chatted on the phone about it! I’m so sorry and I know I would be struggling with the same concerns and feelings. I love how sensitive you are, so heartfelt and caring.

    I’m just thinking outloud…maybe God is calling this baby to be born on this day to bring us all renewed hope and encouragement every time we think of 9/11. This child’s birthday and one of his/her life callings and inspirations could be one of hope–an evidence that we are resilient as a country, as individuals, over-comers, determined to replace tragedy with hope, new life. Your baby’s (esp if it’s a boy!) birth day could be one that motivates your baby to live life to it’s fullest, maybe more so with a passionate heart for our country. My hubby just walked by and said, “wahoo, what an exciting day to give birth and let your child be a HOPE baby for all of us, especially in remembrance of 9/11!”

    Covering you with prayers and love! Nothing shall stifle or steal YOUR joy of bringing a new life into the world! You are going to be have a beautiful little baby…imagine snuggling your angel next to your heart, as a proud and victorious mama, with your sweet Katie and amazing husband right there…embrace your birth experience and get ready to be OVERWHELMINGLY AND INCREDIBLY BLESSED!!!

  6. Rena says:

    Oh Heather, I totally understand you on this. My cousin’s birthday in Sept 11. He turned 21 in 2001. I remember thinking that was an awful way to “come into adulthood”! Excuse my bluntness but I also thought that his birthday would suck from here on! When in reality his birthday has become our family’s day of life celebration. Because you are so right about the fairy tales. There is always a sad element…that makes the sweetness of life so much sweeter.

  7. Brittany says:

    Praying God’s peace over you today knowing that He will have an active role in the delivery of this precious life. Whatever happens, I pray that you do not let anything steal your joy! I can definitely understand your feelings, and I’m sure they would be my own if I were in the same position.

  8. denise says:

    Sweet Heather! Thinking of you and praying for this labor to be blessed. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. God is sovereign and will take you through this day with grace no matter what the outcome. I am praying for His peace that surpasses all understanding to just envelope you and your sweet family. Love you! Can’t wait to meet ur precious bundle!

  9. Julie says:

    I can definitely understand how you’re feeling from one angle: my birthday is September 15, I turned 22 in 2001, and my birthday completely sucked that year. (And I had to actually think about what age I turned that year before typing it! Not good, Julie.) But my birthday has definitely gotten better in the years since. Whatever happens is meant to happen. Whatever you are feeling, use it. You are giving birth, and no matter what date, it will be amazing. Praying for you!!

  10. Des says:

    I have the solution! Put the baby on European time! It’s 8:45pm here so as long as you don’t have him/her for a little over 3 more hours, it will be August 12th and BAM problem solved! Aren’t you glad your friends with me and I can put your mind at ease like this? :-)

  11. Elizabeth says:

    I might feel the same way! My mother was born on Dec 7 and everyone was getting ready for her 6th or 7th birthday — when the news of the Pearl Harbor bombing came and none of the grown-ups in her life would do anything all day but huddle around the radio saying “Hush!” to her.

    On the bright side, after hearing this story every December while growing up, I never forgot her birthday after I left home. Sometimes it took a news announcer saying “On this umpteenth anniversary of Pearl Harbor…” but I always remembered!

    I do like DaddyP’s point of view too.

    It’s funny how things change after a birth. I had a punch line planned out! After the baby was born, I was going to say brightly “That was fun! Let’s do it again!”

    But when the right moment came, somehow it didn’t seem funny at all…

  12. Pippi says:

    Today is my due date. I’ve gotten lots of comments throughout my pregnancy when asked when I’m due. It’s also my brother-in-law’s birthday. He’s cheering for today but I don’t think it’s going to happen.

    Remember that though Sept. 11 is a hugely significant date for us, it will be different for our children. It will still be a day when something horrifying happened, but they won’t have the personal memories of it we have.

    Whether your baby is born today or tomorrow I wish you a peaceful labor and birth. The day your baby is born will be miraculous no matter which calendar date it happens to fall on.

  13. Ashley says:

    My little sister is turning 22 today. I know it was tough on her that year but we are grateful to have a celebration for her on this sad day. I know the feeling of not wanting to have a child on a certain day – I have a Christmas Day baby (he was a month early) and a Thanksgiving day baby (on that year). It may not feel right now but if it happens today I think it is meant to be and will be perfect and bring you so much happiness : )

  14. I found out that I was pregnant with my son on the actual 9/11/01. I tell him all the time what comfort he was to me on that terrible day. Still to this day he has perfect timing! :))

  15. Nara says:

    We are praying for you – all of you. :-)

  16. Elisabeth says:

    I appreciate your note at the end, Daniel.

    Just wanted to put it out there, I have a good friend whose birthday is September 11. It’s funny – the tragedy doesn’t at all take away from the joy of celebrating her birthday, but her birthday doesn’t at all take away from the tragedy of the date.

    This reminds me of how the anniversary of my brother’s death coincides with another couple of friends’ wedding date. When my friends were preparing to get married, I told my husband Glenn about my mixed feelings. He said a good day has many meanings. I think that’s true. All the different layers, all the different facets stand side by side – not in conflict. Just in complexity. It’s confusing, but it’s also okay. At least, I’ve come to feel it’s okay, in my life.

  17. [...] paranoid. Somewhere deep within I felt my body warming up for labor just an hour shy of the one day I didn’t want Babypotamus to be born. That’s the long and short of how my plans for [...]

  18. My birthday is today, I am 53 years old. It was discouraging for a few years as people actually told me “I’m sorry” when I said when my birthday was. But life goes on, and I had my birthday first, before the terrorists got it! I feel that part of not letting them win is to not let them steal my day. We will never forget those who died, but we will also never forget that we are stronger and better.

  19. Happy birthday, Kathleen!! I totally agree that we should choose to be stronger and better, and to redeem the day in every way we can. Posting my thoughts from last year is more about processing the whole event for me even though actually my views on a 9/11 baby have changed. I am just about to post a link to a bloggy friend who gave birth on 9/11 last year – he was the first thought in my mind when I woke up this morning and I am so excited to celebrate him today!

  20. My guess date was 9/11 last year. I got a lot of odd comments throughout my whole pregnancy. I met you a couple weeks prior, and began to follow your blog. Like most FTM a part of me wanted to believe I’d go into labor that day. I knew we shared a midwife, and once I heard you were going, I knew I would not in fact be having her on 9/11. I read that blogpost and remember thinking man, she doesn’t want a 9/11 baby, but I DO!! Funny, I didn’t even get a September baby at all!

  21. Elisabeth Carol Harvey McCumber via FB says:

    I remember that post like yesterday, too.

  22. @Lyndsay – I LOVE the phrase “once I heard you were going” – makes me sound like a powerful volcano. I guess if you factor in how many times I puked it’s technically accurate, but not quite as interesting. And happy due date Lux! Glad you came when you were good and ready :)

  23. Shanna says:

    I’ve just recently begun to read your blog. Loving it so far, btw! When I came across this particular post, I had to chuckle. My first sweet baby was born in 2007 on 9/11 and I remember feeling the same way. That was the ONE day that I didn’t want to give birth. Of course, as usual, God had different plans. And, while my grandma still refers to her birthday as 9-1-1, it has become “Joanna’s birthday” to the rest of our family. She’s too young to understand the significance now, but as she grows I hope that she appreciates that the Lord took a day of mourning, and used her to turn it into a day of rejoicing.

    • Heather says:

      Hi Shanna! It’s strange, I see it from a COMPLETELY different angle now. If I could go back I wouldn’t have tried to stall my labor like I did. Birth is a miracle no matter what day . . . and some days need them more than others!

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