After absolutely no warm up anything, I started feeling some early labor stuff last night. It’s been a tough road since then. My body is urging me forward and my emotions are fighting me back.
It’s September 11th.
Would anyone wish this birthday for their child? Katie was born just a few days before Christmas and I worried her birthday would be swallowed up in the busyness of the holiday. But at least it is a happy time for everyone. How will my child feel if he/she is born on a national day of mourning? It’s not like Memorial Day or Veterans Day, which seem connected to a distant memory. The wound of what happened on September 11th still feels fresh to me.
My husband says he would love for the baby to be born on this day. He loves the idea of redeeming a sad day and bringing joy back into it. I’m on the fence.
Fairy Tales Aren’t Fairy Tales Without Loss
The tricky thing about redemption is that before it can be redeemed it first has to be marred. Call me an idealist, but sometimes I wish we didn’t have to experience the sorrow of loss in order to know the joy of restoration. I wish the fairy tale could go off without a hitch. But it never does. At least not in my life.
There have been some fairytale endings, but the middle of those stories tend to be pretty darn ugly. I don’t know how this story ends. Maybe things will slow down and we’ll have the baby tomorrow. Maybe he/she will be born today and somehow miraculously I will feel differently about it looking back. Only time will tell . . .
Note from Daddypotamus:
It’s not very encouraging to tell a VERY pregnant lady how her fears or concerns are ridiculous or not a big deal. I’d appreciate it if we could all avoid responding to this with any comments about how she shouldn’t think that way. Thanks.