What Would You Do Different for Baby #2?
Suggestions are still trickling in to my nifty little suggestion box and I’ve just got to say, ya’ll have the best questions!
I’m interested in your birth plan for baby numba two. What’s a MUST have and a must not for The Mommypotamus on the big day?
Genevieve at Mama Natural
The Essentials According to Mommypotamus
To say I am the nesting type would be a whopping understatement. I am the ultimate nester. Unfortunately, due to the fact that we are doing whatever we can to sell this house in the next two weeks despite the fact that we haven’t found a house to buy (that we can afford), I am currently without a nest at all. I have no idea where we’ll be in 6-10 weeks. That has made planning rather difficult.
The upside of our less-than-ideal circumstances is that it’s got me focused on people rather than places. Here are the key players:
Daddypotamus – Daniel is doing double-duty for this birth. Like many husbands he is taking on the role of comforter and encourager. However, I am also looking to him to provide a little something extra this time.
When we found out we were pregnant I thought we had plenty of time to find a new home, but that seems more unlikely with each passing day. Having a home of my own to lovingly prepare for the big day is part of my nesting ritual. It calms me. It helps me to feel prepared and ready. Most likely, it’s not gonna happen.
The thing is, I am not a big talker when I’m in pain. I went through almost two days of labor without making so much as a sound until my midwives asked me to try not to internalize so much. I tried yelling for them. It felt weird. Anyway, because I internalize when I need to keep my focus, Daniel felt at times like he was unnecessary during Katie’s birth.
This time will be different. I trust him and I’m going to need him to help me adjust to whatever circumstance we find ourselves in. Our marriage is good but life is hectic and sometimes we fail to connect. We are making an effort to correct that so that when the time comes we will be completely on the same page.
Midwife/Chiropractor/Friend – Dr. Cindy came to my first birth in the role of chiropractor. Her adjustment helped me move past the 12 hour puking streak I was on. Since then, she has become one of my best friends and my best resource for all things birth and health related. I am grateful that she will be acting in all of these capacities as my lead midwife on the big day. Note: Last year Cindy and I attended our close friends birth together (she was the midwife and I was the photographer). It is truly amazing the kind of bond we all have and I hope it will only deepen as we raise our kids together.
Doula – We are in the process of interviewing doulas right now, but we know we want one present. We didn’t have one with Katie because I thought my mom could act in that role. Um, no.
“Doulas often use the power of touch and massage to reduce stress and anxiety during labor. According to physicians Marshal Klaus and John Kennell, massage helps stimulate the production of natural oxytocin. The pituitary gland secretes natural oxytocin to the bloodstream which causes uterine contractions and also secretes it to the brain, which results in a feeling of well being, drowsiness and a raised pain threshold. Synthetic IV oxytocin cannot cross into the blood stream and brain, so it increases contractions without the positive psychological effects of natural oxytocin.”
American Pregnancy: Is a Doula for Me?
Sign me up! Besides, Gigi will be staying with Katie at the birth. If Katie chooses to be present Gigi will help her understand what’s going on. If not, they’ll do something else.
Birth Photographer – Although I can’t really call birth photography an essential, Lynsey Stone is a confirmed part of our birth team and I am so excited to have her.
We have nothing but a few grainy pics and a short video (in which almost nothing is visible) from Katie’s birth. The whole experience was so surreal I don’t remember much. This time I plan to document every moment, which I’ll probably end up sharing here ; – )
Key Elements:
Birth Tub – My happy, happy place. I cannot imagine giving birth any other way. Water birth:
- Helps with relaxation
- Provides the ability to more easily change positions, allowing for widening of the pelvis and easier descent of the baby.
- Helps the tissues of the pelvic floor to relax and stretch more easily.
- Reduces the incidence of perineal trauma (tearing). The need for episiotomy also decreases.
- Snacks for me and the birth team
- Peaceful music
If I Can Get It Done, I’d Also Like:
- Birth Day gift for Katie – I’d love to give Katie something meaningful on the day she officially becomes a big sister. Jewelry seems a little to mature for her, but I was thinking that something like her very own “diaper bag” and maybe a sling for her baby. What do ya’ll think?
- Birth Day activity for Katie – If baby comes during the day Gigi will probably take her to the pool. I’m not sure what to do at night if she’s not able to sleep. Probably read books or something.
- Calming essential oils
Longshot Luxuries
- Scented beeswax or non-GMO soy candles – A room FULL of them. Yeah right!
- Beautiful flowers in my birthing room
- A home of my own to birth in!!!
What we will avoid
- Cord clamping – We will cut the umbilical cord after it has completely stopped pulsing to avoid infant anemia and potential brain damage
- Vitamin K shot – totally unnecessary and potentially harmful
- Eye goo – I am 100% certain that I do not have gonorrhea or chlamydia and therefore my child is not at risk to being exposed to these diseases in the birthing process
- Hep B vaccine – Hepatitis B is primarily transferred through sexual contact or via blood (needles, etc.) In addition, most people that contract Hep B fully recover from it. On the other hand, the vaccine itself contains preservatives such as aluminum (a neurotoxin). For us, the risks outweigh the benefits.
- Circumcision (if we have a boy)
We’re all looking forward to baby #2, though he/she doesn’t have a name yet and we’re all so busy we sometimes feel that we haven’t soaked in the anticipation like we did with baby #1.
The clock is ticking! So while I re-read my list and make sure I didn’t leave anything out, I’d like to hear from you: what will YOU do differently with your next birth? Any new must haves on your radar? Any must avoids?
Tiffany@ The Coconut Mama
This post makes me feel like I want to be pregnant again. I had the best home birth with DD. I am also very quiet during labor. I need quietness. I get very annoyed at any sound others make around me. I also don’t like to have many people there, if my hubby was up for it, I would want him to be the only one there. I think it would be sweet if he delivered all our babies =). He can’t handle it though. I had my close friend help with delivery. I drank a lot of bone broth, green drink, and fresh OJ/carrot juice when I was in labor. I don’t like to eat during labor, so these nourishing drinks were great for me.
I really hope your able to get into a new home before your little one comes! My sister in law was in the same position as you when she was 9 months pregnant. They got into a house 3 weeks before delivery =)
Good luck!
Tiffany@ The Coconut Mama´s last [type] ..CHOCOLAT PEANUT BUTTER CUPS
Heather
Thank you, Tiffany. I think I’ll borrow some of your snack ideas this time around!
Whittney
You have forgotten to plan for the most vital thing: FOOD! As in muffins in the freezer to be eaten at 2AM while you’re nursing and of course the after birth meal….Schlotzsky’s is my pick.
We purchased Avery a gift FROM her brother as well. We stuck with an elaborate Play-Doh set because we know it will be a hit, but I love the idea of Katie having her own baby “stuff.” I have also written down several activities for Avery and her Dad (or whichever Grandma is here) to do during the first couple of weeks. Special things that will get her out of the house and feel loved. Library story time, water park, zoo, carousel at the mall, etc…..
Your birth is going to be fabulous, I just know it!
kate
Whittney- the after birth meal? I thought you were talking like placenta lasagna or something….haha
kate´s last [type] ..Win an Excaliber Dehydrator!!
Heather
Whittney – Do you know that after two days of labor (which included 12 hours of throwing up and NO eating subsequent to that) I didn’t have an after-birth meal??? Is that crazy or what? I was so tired I just forgot.
NOT THIS TIME! After reading your comment I put in my order for a huge steak and fully-loaded baked potato. My comfort food!
I love the idea of getting Katie a gift from her new sibling. Thanks for your suggestion!
Genevieve
Hi Heather!
LOVED THIS POST
! Thanks for taking my question! I feel honored 
.
I’m totally in the nesting phase myself and my heart goes out to you regarding your home quest. I will be holding the vision that you’ll find a new home before labor. But if not, I know that you’ll do just great… remember, home is where the heart is.
In fact, my baby room is so not set up and there are a million loose details all over the place; and I’m learning to just live in this grey free-fall place. And it’s not so bad
. Most important thing is mommy and daddy love baby and they are “present” with the birth. So that’s what I like to focus on.
We are interviewing doulas now too. Best of luck finding just the right fit! I’d also love to brainstorm some good music ideas … I love Enya. I’ve found some relaxing soaking music… some meditation music… let me know if you have any good albums.
I loved Tiffany’s suggestions on food/drinks to prepare as that’s essential too. I heard honey sticks are good too. Perhaps yogurt… fruit… I’d imagine lighter foods fair better although I haven’t given birth yet so not sure on that one
.
Any ways, I LOVE your blog! Keep up the good work and be in touch! Genevieve
Genevieve´s last [type] ..Pregnancy Vlog: 25 Weeks. Five Simple Pregnancy Exercises You Can Do At Home
Heather
Thank YOU for suggesting this post, Genevieve! I had a lot of fun writing it and actually discovered there were a few elements I hadn’t thought of. And your snack suggestions are making me hungry!
Anna D
Wow, this is so great!!! It also makes me want to be pregnant again. I agree with Whittney, you should definitely plan some nourishing food for yourself for after delivery. I read in Ramiel Nigel’s book ‘Healing our Children’ that the best option is fish broth.
I wish you to find your new home, but sure the birth will be perfect anywhere.
Good luck which you do not really need with such a great team and planning!
Heather
Thank you, Anna! I I haven’t read that book but I did read another one of his and loved it: Healing Tooth Decay. Thanks for the suggestion, I’ll look into it!
ElisabethCS
Hey Heather!
I just recently found your blog and I am becoming addicted to it!
It’s so exciting to see how you have become the go-to-mom! I thoroughly enjoy reading your blog entries!
My husband and I are expecting our third baby in 5weeks(I’m hoping in 4weeks)
We are having a birthing center birth, as we did with our second. My husband was a fabulous coach at our daughter’s birth (7years ago/ hospital)
But the second time around I had too many people present, it wasn’t clear who my coach was and it was kind of chaotic.
This time it will just be my husband coaching and we are meeting with a couple doulas next week. I think a doula will be great. Mainly, for support for my husband.
I agree with you about not having your Mom as your doula. I am not having my Mom there this time. I really want to give my husband a chance to coach me like the first time. We have taken The Bradley Method childbirth classes and this time are just reading husband coach childbirth again. I always have a stack of books on my night stand when I am pregnant. Some of which I have read two times already…like, The thinking woman’s guide to a better birth and for the first time, Supernatural Childbirth (recommended by my sis)…
and of course praying and preparing mentally.
I like your ideas and share many of the same.. although I was not a fan of the water. Maybe it was because we have a hard jacuzzi at our birth center. Maybe I should get one of those inflatable ones.
Looking forward to reading about your second birth! Blessings to you and Daniel!
ElisabethCS´s last [type] ..You’ve gotta eat your spinach, baby!
Heather
Hi Eliabeth, it’s great to “find” you and your gorgeous blog! I think your birth plan is really intriguing. You’re going to be at a birth center but only have your husband and doula present? Am I understanding that right? Please fill us in!
ElisabethCS
Hey Heather,
Aw thanks. I’ve only been blogging for a short while. Still feel very lost in the blogging world.
Sorry if I confused anyone..there will be a midwife and a nurse practitioner attending our birth. I guess I forget to mention them, since it’s standard at our freestanding birth center.
My husband will be my coach and we are hoping we like one of the two doulas we are meeting with on Monday evening.
Heather
Okay, that makes more sense ; – ) A friend of mine opened a birth center a couple years back and I could just hear here saying “What about the liability of a birth center birth with no midwife????” Thanks for clarifying, Elisabeth.
dianthe
hmmm … for my next baby, i’m hoping to actually make it out of the car! lol!
but seriously, it sounds like you have everything covered – one thing i would think about, since you’re having a photographer, is to think about your clothing choice – a friend of mine asked a similar question to yours on a mommy message board and several of the moms mentioned they wished they had been wearing something other than a ratty old t-shirt in their post-birth pictures – one mom wished her husband had on a different shirt and one said she wished someone had combed her daughter’s hair! i know it sounds ridiculous, but looking back at Sydney’s birth slide show, i wish my husband had been wearing a different shirt – he’s a HUGE Mavs fan but for some reason he has on a Chicago Bulls t-shirt! random! of course i’m also the girl who redid my makeup when i realized i was actually in labor – yes, i’m vain – but at least i’m self-aware!
i also just realized that i never answered your question about nursing while pregnant – yes, it hurt!! bad! it actually hurt throughout my entire pregnancy but i sucked it up thinking Sydney would eventually self-wean … she never did! but it usually only hurt for the first 10-15 seconds after she latched on and then it would be okay – i did tend to get touched-out a lot easier though – so that was a struggle – i will say that the moment i gave birth, the pain went away though – isn’t that weird? i haven’t had any issues since!
dianthe´s last [type] ..smile, you’re on Candid Camera
Heather
Dianthe – I am SO GLAD you brought up the clothing issue. I picked out an outfit for my first birth but ended up in my birthday suit because it was too restrictive, so the pics I can share are VERY limited. I knew I wanted to thoroughly research what would be comfortable this time around but I hadn’t given much thought to my husband and daughter. But since I want them to be an integral part of the process I guess I should have. I guess you could say I’m vain, too ; – )
Oh, and THANK YOU for sharing your experience on nursing while pregnant. It has become more comfortable but not like it was before. I am hoping to return to normal after the birth!
Linda
I won’t ever have the option of having Baby #3 (husband had a vasectomy in May), but I know with #2, I definitely did things a little differently. For #1, my doctor had me take an Ambien to help me sleep through the night. I ended up sleeping most of my labor & almost had to have a c-section. Thank goodness I didn’t. With #2, I refused the Ambien, and was so glad I did. That was the biggest difference in the 2 labors, but I did other small things as well differently.
As far as the gift to Katie….my husband and I did the same thing. But we made the gift to #1 FROM #2. It was sweet. We wrapped it & got him a card from the baby, and I have it all in #1′s baby book. It will always be something for him to remember. #1 loves to color and draw, so #2 got him stuff to do that. And he LOVED it!
Good luck! I am keeping you in my prayers that y’all find the right house before you have #2.
Linda´s last [type] ..Giving up an Addiction
Heather
Thanks, Linda! I am really loving the idea of a gift from the baby to Katie. So precious!
Des
I’m not entirely sure, but it’s going to be different!
Des´s last [type] ..I’m a missionary, get out of my way! [Guest Post]
Heather
I’m sure it will! The real question is: WHEN WILL THAT BE???? no pressure . . .
Des
hopefully soon
Des´s last [type] ..A Pox On Your House-
Heather
I wonder how many zillion people you will have on Skype for that event!
Shannon Marie
I love all of the ideas in the post and comments. My son will be 11 in February and as a 19/20 pregnant and new mother I did minimal research. I knew a little bit, and trusted in the meds and epidural to ‘get me through’. The past 4-5 years I have done more research than when I was pregnant! My son is healthy as a horse but I will change almost everything I did with him if my husband and I get to have baby #2. I look forward to learning more before we get to that point but I will be changing almost everything!
Misty
Def, gonna leave out using the eye goo. It did nothing but made his eyes ooze for 10 days green stuff. I felt so bad. This time, not going there. We didn’t do any shots, no vit k, the cord clamping might be tough b/c I am having another c-section, but I will ask my doctor about that one. Thanks for this post!!!!