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Will Mommypotamus Win the Pepsi Challenge?

Affiliate Disclosure | in Motherhood | by | with 11 Comments

I read somewhere that a mom can pick out her newborn’s smell from a hundred other newborns. That’s impressive. But you know what would reeeealllly impress me?? Take that same newborn, fast forward about sixteen years, and then ask that child to pick out her mom’s blog. You know, like a blind taste test. No photos or telltale monikers, just a group of blogs. All your kid has to do is find YOU in the lineup.

I’m pretty sure mine wouldn’t be able to. They’d probably come across the post where I said I’m “raising my daughter to shine” and say “Oh! Oh! I want THAT mom!“And then they’ll take off their blindfolds and look in disbelief as I stand in front of them like a disgraced Pepsi can.

I wish parenting were as easy as blogging about parenting.

It’s About Perspective

One of the reasons I love showing up here every morning is that no one knows the love of a mother better than other mothers. And on days that Katie thinks I am a grinch because I won’t let her eat her weight in raisins, you guys know I made that call because I love her. It’s nice to be affirmed that way.

But sadly, that is not the test. We know we love our kids, but do they?

Children do not experience our intentions, no matter how heartfelt.  They experience what we manifest in tone and behavior.  We cannot assume that children will know what our priorities are:  we must live our priorities.

Hold On To Your Kids

If it were just about me making “hard” choices “for their good,” I think I could live with them being annoyed with me sometimes. But that’s only half the story.

The truth is, I have given them the things I hold most dear:  time, energy & sleep.

Unfortunately, I have learned that it is possible to give all three of those things without giving them what they really want: ME. When I am tired (which right now I really am. I fantasize about the day when our family will sleep in past 5am) it is so much easier to be on automatic and “do stuff” rather than be present with my little ones.

Right now their needs are so great it’s tempting to think we are connecting all the time. Mama feeds. Mama soothes. Mama sews JC Penny the bear (not the duck) back together. But slowly things are changing. I’m needed less. My involvement is optional, but Katie still wants me. If I keep meeting her heart’s desire (as I have been) with a glazed expression and a “I just need to do one more thing before we play” how long will it be before she stops asking . . . and caring?

I’m determined not to find out.

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11 Responses to Will Mommypotamus Win the Pepsi Challenge?

  1. Sara Creitz Rockarts via Facebook

    says:

    Good post. For me it’s sitting around reading facebook and blogs. I need to quit and spend quantity time with the kids. They’re just in the next room!

  2. marina says:

    I have just finished reading the book “Hold on to your kids – why parents matter more than peers” (you have a quote from it in this blog post). Great book, I strongly recommend it to all the parents! I got lots of insights from it!
    Heather, I know how tired we are moms while kids are growing..I still am, and my kids are 6 and 8. But I figured that they have to be dependent on us before they become independent, mature adults (that’s what the book stresses as well). And that is a good thing that Katie still wants you! She is attached to you and you mean a lot to her, this will make parenting way easier in the future – if they are too attached to their peers, this is actually a problem because peers cannot act as a compass in their lives, but we parents can and should.

  3. I tried commenting on your blog post, but the comment disappeared somewhere:) Great post – I have actually just finished reading “Hold on to your kids” book (you have a quote from it in the blog post). Great book I recommend it to all new and seasoned parents. And yes, we moms are tired often while the kids are growing up. I still experience this, and my kids are 6 and 8. And it is great that Katie still needs you, it means she is attached to you and your parenting will be a lot easier in the future. If they are too attached to their peers, this may be a problem because peers cannot act as a compass in their lives, but parents can and should. Also, kids should be dependend on us before they can become independent, mature adults.

    • Heather says:

      Marina- I’m glad you liked the book. After running across that quote I researched it on Amazon and will be buying it as soon as I finish Grace-Based Parenting. (I have to make myself finish a book before I order the next or I end up with a library full of 75% finished books :))

  4. Hey Marina, if it’s your first time to leave a comment on a blog, it usually doesn’t show until it’s approval by the blog owner. General rule of thumb.

  5. Anna D

    says:

    I was just today thinking the same ting about my son
    ..how long will it be before she stops asking . . . and caring?

    I hope not to find out as well..

  6. @Sara! I know what you mean . . . I actually have to turn my computer off after posting a morning blog to keep from hovering. I LOVE fb and blogs because I learn so much and honestly it’s hard to get out and meet all my social needs with two little ones in tow (some yes . . . all, no), but I have to make sure it doesn’t interfere with the “Go Fish” tournaments we have around here!

  7. Kirsten

    says:

    Once again a home run, Heather! Thanks so much for sharing your heart with such openness. That quote means a lot to me right now…guess I’ll have to check out that book too! :)

  8. Pippi

    says:

    Thanks Heather, I needed that reminder today :) I think I’m in just about exactly the same place as you these days. But today I left the housework and we made valentines. I let her use as much glue as she wanted. It made both of us happy :)

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