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You Might Be an Unconventional Mama If…

Affiliate Disclosure | in Motherhood | by | with 118 Comments

scobysam-2

…your kids name your (kombucha) scobies and pretend they are pets. – Michelle Thiehoff

…you grind up an eggplant, put it in a jar with vinegar, put it in the fridge for 3 days, then use it on your son’s warts… and it really works too! – Gina Palmer

Your sister thinks her nose ring is infected and you offer to give her some breast milk to take home and treat it with. You don’t understand why she made that face about it, either. – Susie Yarbrough

Your 16 month old thinks socks are for her hands! (because she goes barefoot everywhere!) – Unmistakably Food

You tell your 4 year old you’re having chicken nuggets for dinner and she says “Mama, what are chicken nuggets?” – Mommypotamus

Your kids beg for “special chocolate” daily and even ask for seconds. (“Special chocolate” = Chocolate Cream FCLO) – Kate Tietje

Your answer for everything from bug bites to fabric soften(er) is vinegar! – Autumn Peiser

For a snack your kid wants butter. Just. butter. – Becki Pembleton

Your kid’s ear hurts and they start saying, “I need my onions!” – Haley Smisek

VLUU L100, M100  / Samsung L100, M100

Your OB’s nurse asks, “what is this D.C. is after your primary care Dr’s name” [D.C. = Doctor of Chiropractic] – Mindy Worley

You make brownies out of soaked black beans, you put bone broth in sippy cups and your toddler cries for sauerkraut. – Kelly Villareal

You let your children choose their own weaning date and then invite their friends to their weaning party. – Jolene Michele

You ask your daughter what she bought from the school bake sale and she replies, “Ewwwww. Nothing. Everything was covered in chemicals.” – Mommy OM

The phone in your bedroom rings in the morning and it wakes the entire family up because you are all in the same bed. – Debbie Cook St. John

Your request to keep your placenta is met with confusion by hospital staff. – Caroline May

You steal your placenta from the hospital when the nurses say you can’t take it with you. – Candace Spain-Smith

placenta-stealer

High five to the unconventional mamas who inspired this post via this thread on my Facebook wall. There were many more that made me giggle, but this is a pretty good sampling of the overall theme.

Now it’s your turn! What did we miss?

Photo credits: mdanys (top photo), JasonUnbound (middle photo), Daniela Vladimirova (bottom photo) cc

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118 Responses to You Might Be an Unconventional Mama If…

  1. Rache says:

    This is one of my favorite posts. I am a new mommy and I have all these nontraditional methods of how I chose to take care of my daughter, including the birthing process. I had so many people not understand why we chose natural birth at a birthing center and why we are making our own toothpaste, laundry detergent, baby wipes, etc. We have also chosen to bring home my placenta so we can dehydrate it and make capsules. You bet some family were a little disturbed by that. Great post:)

  2. Debra @ Sweet Kisses and Dirty Dishes says:

    You put cashew butter in a bowl and your son says “are you making BREAD?” (We recently started GAPS)

    Your kids eat, and enjoy, sauerkraut, unsweetened yogurt, and creamed spinach.

  3. Jen says:

    When your fridge looks like a fermentation science project– and you’re happy about it!

  4. You May Be An Unconventional Mama If . . . (Part 2) « The Mommypotamus says:

    […] five to the unconventional mamas who inspired this post via these comments on the original post. There were many more that made me giggle, but this is a pretty good sampling of the overall […]

  5. Peace says:

    When you’re in the supermarket buying toilet paper,and your 3 year old sees the lollies at the front counter, grabs hold of the packet, looks at mama saying “eeeeeewwwwwww, these are yucky”.

    When your 3 year old is ‘making’ you a cup of rose, peppermint and cinnamon tea.

    When your 3 year old decides she doesn’t need to wash her hands after doing a poo in a public toilet, because the soap is all chemicals and she doesn’t want to put it on her skin – and mama says that is perfectly okay!

    When you are putting on a surprise party for your 70 year old parents, and getting the siblings to give you money so you can do all the shopping because you want to control the food being eaten by everyone there – organic, grass fed, no sugar, no gmo, fermented birthday cakes, sauerkraut…

    We’ll see how that one goes down with the mob this weekend!!!

    :)

  6. Kelli says:

    When you go to tell your grandmother what your secret ingredient for the delicious mashed sweet potatoes and she interupts you with a hand saying, “Let me guess, some kind of coconut oil?”

  7. Pamelotta says:

    This past weekend, I was at my son’s baseball tournament and while the team and parents were seated together at a restaurant eating, one of the moms told me that my son told her son that all cereals are toxic. She asked what was wrong with them and then all eyes were on me as I sheepishly explained. I got nicknamed the ‘cereal killer’ on that trip.

  8. Margo says:

    When your in public and notice your 2 yr old has an owiee and then said 2yr old says “put some momma milk (aka breastmilk) on it”!

  9. Ashley says:

    When your 2 year old screams because his sippy cup is out of “bucha” (kombucha)

    When your four year old has some friends over for a playdate and says, “do you want to see my mommy’s Mother”… And proceeds to show them your SCOBY!!!

  10. Allysia says:

    *When your 4 year old yells, “Oh mom…can we make a chip out of that….like kale chips!!”
    *After checking out your 11 year old says, “Mom? Can we make apple pie out of the apples we just bought on thursday?” (that’s our ‘fruit’ day….this week…long story)…and then your four year old starts jumping up and down in the grocery store exit doorway repeating, “gluten free apple pie…..gluten free…apple pie….gluten free…apple pie”
    *You and your daughter nearly cry seeing 20 1/2 gallons of organic grassfed milk about to expire marked down to 99c….brainstorming what to make with that much milk….”

  11. Maya says:

    1) You play educational games with your kids online and try to beat each others scores.
    2) When your son insists on making tea and playing board games before bed time
    3) When “Momma, let’s get dessert means yoghurt!”

  12. Latosha says:

    When your 2 year old asks “Is it organic?” when someone offers her fruit.

  13. Stacy says:

    When your kids have no fear of walking barefoot in the backyard that is full of chicken poop, to gather the eggs that might have said poo on them, and then to herd them into the coop.
    When your children get called hippies at school and don’t mind a bit.
    When you make moccassins for your kids instead of buying real shoes (and they are in middle school).
    When your kids ask which kind of tea they should make because they are feeling _______ .
    When you explain to your kids friends what is on the clothes line and they can’t wrap their heads around cloth diapers and TP, let alone why you aren’t using a dryer.
    When you patched your daughter’s too short jeans and added to the length in creative ways, and all the kids ask where she bought them, and she proudly states, the thrift store, but my mama fixed them up for me!
    and the list goes on…. ((thanks for sharing ladies!! And I echo many of the rest of these, too!!))

  14. Roxy says:

    When your 6 year old asks the restaurant hostess if they have gluten free menu.

  15. The MamaS says:

    –When people ask me if my 3 1/2 yr old DD’s going to our local preschool yet, and SHE chimes in and proudly says “No, I home-schooled”
    –When that same DD explains to strangers how to properly compost.
    –When we are out in public and that same DD asks why there are no recycling containers.
    –When all my DD wants for her upcoming, yet far away, 4th birthday is to milk a cow.
    –When my DD lets me know if I’ve let the Kombucha go a little too long, and happily fills up her own cup from the spigot.
    –When people ask my DD if she’s skiing this year (has been since 19months) and she says, “No, I snowboard now” (which in fact, we did buy her snowboard boots this year…)
    –When people look at me weird when I beg friends and family for any “happy animal” bones I can use to make broth.
    –When my coworkers try to sneak commercial candy to my DD, and I chew them out for it.
    –When my DD is perfectly content with the fact that she can’t have expensive toys because we are saving up to build our homestead.
    –When I pack my own grass-fed butter when we go out to eat, and even sometimes my own flaxseed oil and blackberry salad dressing.
    — When people look at you weird when you buy over 19lbs. of baking soda at the grocery store since it’s FINALLY on sale… (“what on earth do you use all that baking soda for???”– “the question should be, what DON’T I use it for??”)

    I could honestly go on forever……

  16. CamiCakes says:

    When, despite having a 1 yr old and 2 yr old running amok, you offer to prepare 4 dishes for your sister-in-law’s Thanksgiving because that’s the only way to be sure SOME food there is NOT low-fat, non-fat, artificially sweetened, or store bought. They loved my homemade stuffing (no bagged, croutons, haha!), and I started a heated argument between visitors on whether coconut oil was a healthy saturated fat, since it made my chocolate chip pumpkin bread taste amazing! The vegan apple crisp was a hit too but no one knew it was vegan… And organic. Ha!

  17. Katie says:

    so intimidating! Any links for mommies who are just starting at the very tip top beginning?

    • Heidi says:

      Don’t be intimidated! Just start where you are and do what you can. My family is still a work in progress in the health department. We make progress and then have to let some things go in different seasons of life. What are your biggest health concerns? That’s a good place to start.

  18. Ashley says:

    When you have company over and you offer food or drink… And they ask “this doesn’t have breast milk or placenta in it, does it”?
    Nah I ate that placenta weeks ago 😉

  19. Arianna Stout says:

    When one of your children has had milk from three different mamas in their eyes for various minor emergencies.

  20. erica says:

    When your 8 year old boy ask if he can have a SCOBY facial.

    When your son tells people, “oh, my mom make her own pills.”

    “Oh, thats just our water filter…”

    When you tell your grandmother your kids have never had a hot dog.

  21. Gabrielle says:

    When your three year old coughs, and then ask you to put onions in his socks and make him some ginger/peppermint/breast milk tea 😉

  22. Rebecca says:

    When you have cough syrup for the first time at a friend’s house and wonder why it tastes so bad and your friend seems to like it? That’s right…you prefer apple cider vinegar to cough syrup…

  23. Ashley says:

    Your husband opens the bathroom cabinet and says, “Now remind me, which one is the toothpaste and which one is the deodorant.” You giggle and say, “Doesn’t matter. They’re pretty much the same thing.” :)

  24. martina says:

    When your almost 3yo doesn’t know what is liquid shampoo from the bottle. But she knows that bowl of mud with rosemary EO will clean her hair.

  25. Stacy Apple says:

    When your 4 year old turns his nose up at the chips ahoy cookies & Gatorade handed out after baseball, then tells the snack mom she’s going to get everyone sick by handing out that kind of food.
    We may need to work on his delivery, but his intentions are so pure :)

  26. Julie says:

    Your kids beg for essential oils on their feet and elderberry when they’re sick, your husband asks you to “put some liver in those meatballs”, your kids (6 & under) explain to their friends that cereal is bad for you and announce at parties that food coloring is bad. Also, my kids never ask for just milk…it’s always “raw milk”.

  27. Nadia says:

    Such fun! The SCOBY one reminded me of this one: When your child answers his teacher’s question about what pets she has with – A turtle and millions and millions of little kefirs!

  28. Ashley says:

    Oh, and 1 more.. Your three year old, when left with grandma for date night, “Where did mommy and daddy go? Did they go on a diet?” – food sensitivities, GAPS :/

  29. Kirsten says:

    when your 6 year old walks around the grocery store on vacation, checks labels, and after 15 minutes exclaims: “there is so much to eat here but no food!!!”

    When your teen joins you in having home made broth for breakfast.

  30. Tracey says:

    while eating coconut milk curry my 4yo said mommy this tastes like my bum ointment (aka coconut oil)

  31. Myrna says:

    …when my 9yr old son&3yr old daughter scream from the bathroom “we are running out of toothpaste mom, bring out the coconut oil!”.

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