You Might Be an Unconventional Mama If…
…your kids name your (kombucha) scobies and pretend they are pets. – Michelle Thiehoff
…you grind up an eggplant, put it in a jar with vinegar, put it in the fridge for 3 days, then use it on your son’s warts… and it really works too! - Gina Palmer
Your sister thinks her nose ring is infected and you offer to give her some breast milk to take home and treat it with. You don’t understand why she made that face about it, either. – Susie Yarbrough
Your 16 month old thinks socks are for her hands! (because she goes barefoot everywhere!) - Unmistakably Food
You tell your 4 year old you’re having chicken nuggets for dinner and she says “Mama, what are chicken nuggets?” - Mommypotamus
Your kids beg for “special chocolate” daily and even ask for seconds. (“Special chocolate” = Chocolate Cream FCLO) – Kate Tietje
Your answer for everything from bug bites to fabric soften(er) is vinegar! – Autumn Peiser
For a snack your kid wants butter. Just. butter. – Becki Pembleton
Your kid’s ear hurts and they start saying, “I need my onions!” – Haley Smisek
Your OB’s nurse asks, “what is this D.C. is after your primary care Dr’s name” [D.C. = Doctor of Chiropractic] – Mindy Worley
You make brownies out of soaked black beans, you put bone broth in sippy cups and your toddler cries for sauerkraut. – Kelly Villareal
You let your children choose their own weaning date and then invite their friends to their weaning party. – Jolene Michele
You ask your daughter what she bought from the school bake sale and she replies, “Ewwwww. Nothing. Everything was covered in chemicals.” – Mommy OM
The phone in your bedroom rings in the morning and it wakes the entire family up because you are all in the same bed. – Debbie Cook St. John
Your request to keep your placenta is met with confusion by hospital staff. – Caroline May
You steal your placenta from the hospital when the nurses say you can’t take it with you. – Candace Spain-Smith
High five to the unconventional mamas who inspired this post via this thread on my Facebook wall. There were many more that made me giggle, but this is a pretty good sampling of the overall theme.
Now it’s your turn! What did we miss?
Photo credits: mdanys (top photo), JasonUnbound (middle photo), Daniela Vladimirova (bottom photo) cc
Rebeca @ The Average Parent
Your kids’ smoothies consist of broccoli, spinach, bone broth, soaked seeds, berries and a dash of ghee…
Sarah
Your medicine cabinet looks the same as your spice cabinet.
Elisabeth
My kids ask all the time if I’m asking for a seasoning or an herb. I try to remind them that the seasonings are ground and the herbs are cut.
Elisabeth´s last [type] ..Balance: The Secret to Health and Happiness
vero
Your husband enters the minivan and notices everyone smells like garlic, he feels left out and says “no one offered me any garlic”
Mommypotamus
That is AWESOME, Vero!
Kellie Jordan
Your four year-old asks for buttery brussels sprouts and chicken livers for her birthday dinner!
Stacey
Would love to know how you cook your chicken livers.
Would love a post on cooking all kinds of liver…please!
Mommypotamus
Umm, WOW. I still have to mask the flavor of liver in other dishes. Rock on, mama!
Elisabeth M
Oh man I love liver! I simmer mine with mushrooms and caramelized onions, add salt/pepper/spices – whatever resonates with my intuition, and smells good – then blend. Put in square glass baking dish, cover completely with a layer of melted butter, then chill and cut into squares. Eat it with a wholesome baguette, like a spread. It’s SO GOOD.
Elisabeth M´s last [type] ..Sitting with Death
Amanda N.
Your husband regularly sings “Every Day I’m Kefiring’ to the tune of “Party Rock Anthem”.
Melissa
This is too funny!
marybeth
You eat “dog treats”(raw cheese) with crackers as a regular snack.
Lindsey
You ask your soon-to-be-9-year-old what special meal he wants for his birthday, and he can’t decide between grass-fed steak and eggplant pizza, but kale chips are on his list regardless.
You notice that your daughter’s rash on her chin has disappeared and comment on it. She says, “Yeah, it’s because I haven’t been eating grains or sugar, Momma!”
Two separate people walk up to you at church on the same Sunday and ask you to do some “food research” for them because they’ve been diagnosed with something by their doctor and know you’re the person to ask for all things nutrition-related.
Lindsey´s last [type] ..Today, I’m glad I homeschool.
Lindsey
When “Rub some coconut oil on it!” is your answer for every complaint.
When Nourishing Traditions is your poolside book of choice two summers in a row.
Lindsey´s last [type] ..Today, I’m glad I homeschool.
Shannon
You still have all three of, those placentas (that you didn’t have to steal because your children were born at home with a midwife) in your freezer because you haven’t found the right tree to plant them with yet.
GudrunB
placenta supposedly goes well into meatloaf
no i have not tried it, but i sure wanted to 10 days ago when my second grand child was born (at home) 
Sarah
When your kids play “restaurant” and tell you everything is organic and GMO free.
Mommypotamus
Mine totally do this
Linzy
Loved this post!!! I once had to throw out a Scoby that had gotten particularly large and out of control, and my 6-year-old staged a full on right-to-life demonstration, citing several convincing facts about why it should be allowed to live on.
Linzy´s last [type] ..Autumn Girls
Mommypotamus
Okay, I **may** have snorted a little when reading this one, Linzy. So funny!
Pocahontas
I think this one is really cute. Sounds like my kids when they this age. LOL.
Jeanmarie
Leftover scobies are a great chicken treat! I cut them up into approximately bug-sized bits, and the ladies go crazy over them. It turns out the dogs like them, too! Hey, it’s protein and good microbes, what could be better?
Cyndi
When we get too many we take the least attractive wimpiest ones and my daughter feeds them to her goats and donkey.
Now after reading these posts we know to try the chicken cage, too!
Tammy
After falling off a toy at the playground your child informs the other children that he needs to “get that popcorn out!” (what my chiropractor husband calls the noise his adjustments make).
Jessica
Your water breaks while getting an infusion of iron in the hospital and you immediately rush home to give birth.
Mommypotamus
LOVE this one!
Sarah Katz
I want to print this out and frame it. Rush home FROM the hospital to give birth FTW!!!
Rachael
When your child put lavender essential oil on all their cuts/bruises/itchy bites.
You have to tell your guests to be careful which icecream bucket they pull out of the freezer… one is homemade icecream, the other one has from placenta from our homebirth!
GudrunB
they are fantastic!!!! Home birth is the answer for the placenta though
yet my daughter as adamant about not keeping it…. and if you ask my kids (grown now) what i put on every thing the unanimous answer will be GARLIC!
Linda
When you hear your kids tell their friends ‘if you see low-fat on a label, it really means ‘chemical sh*t storm!”
Kelly
When you decide that after having experienced severe, life threatening Post Partum Depression, twice, that you will never go the “medical” route, again, for prevention or treatment. So, instead you dry, encapsulate and then consume your placenta and then experience what really is true “Baby Moon Bliss!”
Jana
Your son calls your kitchen an “apothecary” because of all the herb-filled jars and packages lining the shelves.
Elisabeth
I’ve been called a witch doctor before, and not because of my faith.
Elisabeth´s last [type] ..Balance: The Secret to Health and Happiness
Sara G.
When you go to the zoo and get really excited to see some of the animals breastfeeding (in public, not covered!).
Mommypotamus
Ahhh, I can so relate to this!
Angelina
At a party with catered BBQ, your kids see the tray of white bread and squeal, “Mama, can we have some of that duck bread?!”. (We’ve only ever bought it to feed the ducks at the pond.)
Rachel
Your kids BEG for their daily dose of cod liver oil!
Margo
When someone in the house gets a fever and your husband automatically prepares some egg whites. Your 2yr old asks for arnica and elderberry for her owies.
Lisa
oh, it’s nice to find all of you!
Kayla
When your daughter runs around saying, “Do you like my makeup? My mom made it out of food.”
The Provision Room
If your son gets a few funny questions from baseball teammates drinking gatorade because he’s drinking komucha with chia seeds….from a glass jar.
The Provision Room´s last [type] ..Emergency Preparedness Checklist & A Reader Challenge
TheCrunchyChemist
I can relate to this. I am the only teenager at my job that makes my own meals, and they usually include the “Ewww-what’s-that?!?!” drink called kombucha with wheatgrass.
Amanda Iden Howell
Instead of “special chocolate”, my kids beg for “chocolate fish”…same stuff, different name!
Every time my toddler daughter gets a boo boo, she says “we’ll put some oil on it”.
kaely
My son begs for Chocolate Avocado Pudding – he doesn’t even care if he can still taste the avocado!
Andrea
You might be an unconventional mama if your 24yo son tells all of his buddies “You ought to see my mom’s new tattoo sleeve! It’s da bomb!!”
Sarah Katz
Love this!! I hope to be that mom too. =)
Emily/Nourinhing Mama
When your kids eat organic veggies out of the garden with dirt on them and they don’t mind it.
When your kids have seen a chicken harvest(blood guts etc) and the only comment is-”when do we get to eat them?”
When your harvested duck is on the family thanksgiving table and your 7 year old spurts out, “she stopped laying eggs, so we harvested her!”
Your multitude of fermenting jars have to be labeled because you might forget what you are making.
Your essential oils are carried with you at all times
I am sure I can think of more….
Emily/Nourinhing Mama´s last [type] ..Are you healthy?
Mommypotamus
Emily, this totally reminds me of last night with my 5 year old. We were making fish and I put it in her hands to show her how pretty it was. We were talking all about it’s iridescent skin and then all of a sudden she poked it in the eye. I totally freaked and and she looked at me like, “What’s the big deal mom? It can’t feel anything!” I guess some of us are still getting used to this whole eating things that have eyes thing.
Pocahontas
I know just how you feel about the eyes thing I can’t eat something that is looking at me. I ask the waiter to tell the chef to cut the head off before it is brought to my table
Laura
You’re children go to an annual farm day and a) cannot beliee they have a whole booth devoted to corn, corn syrup AND. the lady tells everyone how good it is for you
b) when your 8 year old wants to set up his own booth so that he can tell kids they, too can enjoy dandelions.
Marily Lentz
You didn’t have to request or steal your placenta because your baby was born in your own home.
Angela
When your wall art is placenta prints.
Sharon A.
What is scoby and how is it used. I read a little bit about it, but the info was very vague did not address how it is used and for what purposes, etc.
Thanks Sharon
Mommypotamus
Hi Sharon! A scoby is a live culture used to make a fermented tea product called kombucha. You can read more about it here: http://www.foodrenegade.com/kombucha-scoby-experiment/
Cindra
Your Salad consists of Chick Weed, Creasy Greens, Dandelion Greens, Bloody Dock, Wild Sorrel and Onion Grass.
Christy
… you beg to take home the leftover turkey carcass from big holiday dinners. (As if anyone else was gonna fight you for it…)
Elisabeth
That’s some good eatin’. They should be fighting over it.
Elisabeth´s last [type] ..Balance: The Secret to Health and Happiness
Elisabeth
…when you have to label your jars so you can tell the fermented chicken feed apart from the fermented grains you’re making for lunch tomorrow.
Lynnea
Your kids wonder why their friend has cancelled yet another playdate, and they ask you, “Is it because of the vaccines mummy?”
Elisabeth
when your preschooler plays doctor by rubbing “essential oils” onto her feet.
Elisabeth´s last [type] ..Balance: The Secret to Health and Happiness
Kim p
When your 4 yo yells with joy and fist pumps the air when he learns kale chips are in the oven,
And later marvels at the kale “rope” in the toilet from
Inhaling (and not properly chewing) said kale chips. TMI, I know, but cracked this whole household up!
Roxy
….Your kids inform their friend’s parents that they don’t eat food covered in MSG and other poisons.
….Your whole family regularly smells of either tea tree oil or garlic.
….Your 8yo regularly asks if the “medicine” is really breastmilk.
….You can’t remember the last time you saw a real doctor.
….You first instinct when you find out someone is pregnant is to ask if they’ll breastfeed. And if they aren’t planning to, proceed to tell them at least 50 reasons they should.
May
Your toddler starts dancing when you make home made butter, cuz he know he’s going to get those last mouthfulls of cream that mommy’s not pouring in the bowl
Kayla
Your 8 month old regularly poops in the potty
Jodi
My daughter has no clue what to do with the bottles that come with her baby dolls but regularly puts her babies under her shirt for nursey time.
Ellen
When the neighbor lady offers your 3 yr old a stick of gum and he says “can you please check it to see if it has aspertame or saccharine in it?” When your 6 yr old tells her teacher she won’t get sick if she will take her cod liver oil and echinace!
Ellen
echinacea! sorry lol
amy
When it is 9 am and three friends have called looking for alternative medical advice, your number is given out to people who need to find the good pediatrician, the pediatrician knows you as the mom who refers all the granola crunchy friends.
Your kids are not only interested in but also filled with righteous indignation by watching Farmagedon, and it is the subject of their next report.
Jenny
I have ben reading this with my 10 month old granddaughter on my chest and I surprised I haven’t woke her up from laughing out loud. I have also been called a “witch doctor” & a voodoo queen. I have a voodoo lab or a swamp water lab. I have all kinds of ferments covered all over my kitchen. When people open my frig they just stare. Its full of mason jars. My milk bucket is always out. I have been introduced as an “amish, hippie, tattooed cavewoman” cave woman cause I dont like shoes. I have milked in a bikini and barn boots. The list could go on and on. High five to All Crunchy Unconventional Moms. Keep it up. We make life interesting, sometimes more than we realize!!!
Heather
Haha, LOVED this Jenny! My mom used to work outside in a tube top. No one could see her but it was an absolute necessity in 104F degree weather
Rachel
When people call you when they’ve seen a deer just hit on the side of the road because they know you’ll make good use of roadkill.
When your son brings chicken noodle soup (from your urban backyard chickens!) in his thermos to school!
Rachel´s last [type] ..DIY Salad Bowl Meal AKA elbow grease miracles
Olivia
When we snack on homemade sauerkraut for movie night!
Growing Mushrooms at Home: An Interview With Tradd Cotter « The Mommypotamus
[...] adventurers. The ones who “prescribe” breast milk and know your farmers by name, I have a special treat. Tradd Cotter, an expert in mushroom [...]
amanda
oh man!! these are so awesome. im so glad to have found this site.
when your partner & friends start buying coconut oil for everything because you have portrayed it as a cure all miracle oil.
when you use your built in microwave as storage for fermenting yogurt or as a bread box.
Rache
This is one of my favorite posts. I am a new mommy and I have all these nontraditional methods of how I chose to take care of my daughter, including the birthing process. I had so many people not understand why we chose natural birth at a birthing center and why we are making our own toothpaste, laundry detergent, baby wipes, etc. We have also chosen to bring home my placenta so we can dehydrate it and make capsules. You bet some family were a little disturbed by that. Great post:)
Debra @ Sweet Kisses and Dirty Dishes
You put cashew butter in a bowl and your son says “are you making BREAD?” (We recently started GAPS)
Your kids eat, and enjoy, sauerkraut, unsweetened yogurt, and creamed spinach.
Debra @ Sweet Kisses and Dirty Dishes
When your son says “I want that” in the store and you say “no, I don’t think so” they respond with “will that upset my stomach?”
Jen
When your fridge looks like a fermentation science project– and you’re happy about it!
You May Be An Unconventional Mama If . . . (Part 2) « The Mommypotamus
[...] five to the unconventional mamas who inspired this post via these comments on the original post. There were many more that made me giggle, but this is a pretty good sampling of the overall [...]
Peace
When you’re in the supermarket buying toilet paper,and your 3 year old sees the lollies at the front counter, grabs hold of the packet, looks at mama saying “eeeeeewwwwwww, these are yucky”.
When your 3 year old is ‘making’ you a cup of rose, peppermint and cinnamon tea.
When your 3 year old decides she doesn’t need to wash her hands after doing a poo in a public toilet, because the soap is all chemicals and she doesn’t want to put it on her skin – and mama says that is perfectly okay!
When you are putting on a surprise party for your 70 year old parents, and getting the siblings to give you money so you can do all the shopping because you want to control the food being eaten by everyone there – organic, grass fed, no sugar, no gmo, fermented birthday cakes, sauerkraut…
We’ll see how that one goes down with the mob this weekend!!!
Heather
lol!